Caves and Colds

It's been a tough week.  I came down with a cold not long after we came back from Oxford, and while for most people that would be a minor inconvenience, during chemo it can be quite scary.  My temperature shot up and my breathing became so laboured that I required oxygen over a few days.  However, I am nothing if not determined that I am not going to be dictated to by this disease or its treatments ~ so I monitored the temperature closely,  sucked on the oxygen when necessary and slowly made art!

Using some found objects I created a door way to a Faery cave.  It was so much fun!  I used stamps which I didn't press firmly on, and over stamped with watery paint to produce indistinct images. I haphazardly cut around the edges of the paper to make the foreground greenery, and then scrunched it all up in my hands before using a glue gun (!) to stick it all together. I left trails of the glue all over the place and then used sandpaper to rub down the background.  I even wound brass wire clumsily around a small shard of quartz crystal and suspended it from the cave roof, allowing it to dangle in the door way.  It was all very haphazard, and yet, oh so liberating.  Everything I normally do, from being very precise with my inks to carefully finishing off wire ends was completely forgotten.  In fact the only thing I didn't forget was the overwash of Twinkling H2O paints to give hints of faery dust and glitter when the sunlight catches the picture at certain angles.  Sparkles, as you are no doubt aware, are very important!

And you know what?  I love this piece. It is textured, layered, has meaning and depth.  And although I worked on it over several days, it also has an immediacy to it which is foreign to me.  This is a new experience and I've really enjoyed working on it.  Even the outcome is transient, as I've decided to give it back to the Universe when I feel the time is right.  I will leave it in the woodlands where I picked up most of the found objects and give thanks to the Goddess for Her timely gifts.

Of course, my energy has been depleted so my time has been focused on one thing.  Maybe next week I'll be able to do some work on my Goddess Year book.

Growth

Just because I feel I’m standing still there’s no need to think that the rest of the world is as inert as I appear to be.  A brief walk along the drive to our neighbours’ house is enough to remind me that Mother Earth is busily working away even in the midst of the cold winter. Her daffodils are shooting upwards in preparation for the annual eruption of brilliant yellows.  It is always an incredible display and one that I am looking forward to already.

The snow has gone now, although there is talk of more to come.  It almost put paid to our plans of a weekend away, but in the end we braved the cold and ice and thankfully put our faith in the train rather than trying to travel by car.  And so we made it to Oxford and the first of my Goddess Goals!     I am so proud of myself for getting there as over the past 12 months I have been admitted as an emergency into hospital 4 (or is it 5?) times.  This has meant that I’ve felt very reluctant to stray too far from the hospital just in case . . . Of course, this has hampered my wanderings around the country and limited my time with friends considerably.  This has to stop!  So, part of my Goddess Goals for this year is to Free myself from the self imposed ties to the hospital and reconnect with far flung friends.  I think I’ve made a fine start.

In the 3 days we were away, we caught up with old and new friends alike, attended a wonderful steampunk exhibition at the Museum of the History of Science and indulged in some rather fabbie food and drink. It was an interesting time as we realized how much Oxford has changed since we’d lived there (some growth, much decay) but also how much we now enjoy our life in the middle of Dartmoor.  Thinking about it afterwards, perhaps we should be looking at how much we have changed rather than that of our previous home?

And then back to the little cottage on the moor, where with great excitement I’ve begun work on the Creative Goddess course.  Already I notice the gentle reminders of grounding, cleansing, clearing and focus ~ all the things I used to do every day but gradually gave up as I needed to concentrate on this journey of discovery with cancer.  However, it’s high time I reconnected with my Goddess Self and found my fairy guides again.  We’ve been apart too long . . .  .