This month, I became a Freedom Fighter!
I had to deal with a situation which had arisen during my last chemo treatment 6 weeks previously. The ways in which I was dealing with my own treatment was called into question by a member of the oncology unit, in a completely unprofessional manner at a totally inappropriate moment. The whole thing stunned me and made me very depressed for several weeks. It was so uncalled for and came out of the blue - needless to say I was unprepared for it. When you are already in a weakened state physically and emotionally this is the last thing you need, believe me.
What made me all the more surprised was the fact that I let it affect me so much. After much thought and talking to my Macmillan nurse about it, I decided to take things into my own hands. So I went and had a chat quietly with the nurse in charge of the unit. I needed to write down what I intended to say as, thanks to treatment I have what is lovingly called ‘Chemo Brain’ by us patients, which basically means that I have cotton wool instead of the quick thinking organ that I used to have. My written piece went along the lines of
This Is What Happened,
This Is How It Made Me Feel,
This Is What I Would Like Done About It.
I was so nervous when I spoke my piece. Goodness knows why, but after living with this for 6 weeks I had got myself really worked up. But the nurse in charge was brilliant. Oh, if only I’d been able to talk to her at the time! She was so supportive, apologized repeatedly for the incident (although as I pointed out to her, it wasn’t up to her to do so) and has promised to deal with everything as I have requested.
I walked out of the unit feeling so Free! I had been living under the shadow of the original incident and someone else’s assumptions for weeks - all of which was totally inappropriate, not to mention rude and highly unprofessional. I had suffered weeks of depression because I had let the words of someone who should have known better effect my state of mind. Well, thanks to being the determined Goddess that I am, and with the support of my Goddess Year Book and the Goddess Kali ringing in my ears, I dealt with it quietly and with dignity. I hope I’ve ensured that no other patient will have to go through what I had to at the Unit on that day.
I needed to be reminded of the Freedom I have to be me.
I fought for me. I feel like a Warrior!
